What's been going on?

I have been absent for awhile but today I'm back.  Yesterday was my last day of radiation treatment for breast cancer and I awoke this morning with the determination to not do that again EVER again. As I've written before I struggle with my excess weight and I know that I'm supposed to be thinner but I hadn't fully committed to losing it.  For the longest time it's been more about vanity than health and now I can truly say with all my heart it's more about health than vanity.  When I look in the mirror I see a disfigured breast but it's going to be healthy again.  I see an overweight body but it has been strong and it will heal and I will feel better again. Health, the feeling of being able to do whatever I want and feel good while I'm doing it, is huge. I didn't realize how I had been healthy for so many years but I focused how "unhealthy" I looked and would then beat myself up so much because of a number on the scale.  Now I don't feel healthy and I don't like that more than I don't like the number and this is one thing this whole episode of cancer has shown me. After I received the news in April, I sought comfort from food and discovered how I've run to food for comfort pretty much my entire life.  It's offers momentary comfort with long term consequences. I really believed for a time that I caused the cancer but I can see now cancer strikes everyone, it has no rhyme or reason. It strikes the thin and fat, smokers and non-smokers, vegetarians and meat eaters, and everyone in between. But...there are things I do that puts myself into a higher category of it happening to me. I've had it once and I don't want it again. I have decided against the drug tamoxifen which the doctor wanted me to take to prevent it from coming back but I believe I need to change my diet and move consistently to prevent it from coming back. I don't want to go the drug route and after reading everything I can get my hands on, I am confident by adding key herbs and foods to my diet I can boost my immune system to strengthen my body's ability to kick these abnormal cells to the curb! Writing is another way for me to process all of this so I'm hopeful to write on my little blog more.  I want to grow and be healthy once again, I want what I believe to be reflected in my actions, I want the picture of the me in my head to match the image I see in the mirror.  It's a new day...let's get this started!